by The Window Shopper
For those of you just getting on the flower halo, crown, whatever it is bandwagon– don’t you fucking dare. Not only are they considerably less chic than having your shaman weave real flora through your locks, rousing your animal spirit while tripping in a bus on your way to ‘roo–by now you should know that once something makes it to Pinterest its over, like Mandy Moore over. Don’t blame me, blame your trend whoring selves.
We all remember feathers right? Who could forget! One naked hippie at Burning Man thinks its a good idea to accessorize with the plumage of a dead peacock and all of a sudden the free bird look is in. I can’t lie, I too found myself quill visioned, scouring the 103 degree city for just the right colors to say “Hey, I fly high in first class but I’m still grounded,” and let me tell you there were none. Why? Because all of the continental U.S. was doing the same– young, old, Roseanne.
It wasn’t until a friend of mine told me about her stripper friend “doing feathers” for cheap (no pun intended) and poof there I was living out my rooster fantasy. For a total of eleven minutes until I got home and realized I looked more of a dick than the cock I set out to. Promptly liberating my locks (in the process losing 6 months of hard earned growth!) I took a long look in the mirror (is there any other kind?) and scolded myself for the first time since Rocketdogs for getting on a runaway trend train.
So while flowers are having their (belated) moment in fashion- I’d like to take a moment for le turb. Another hair’cessory with a shelf like of about three more minutes, okay three and a half- before they too flood Pinterest and fest heads all over. Just remember ladies, its super important to find one that speaks eloquently and dignified, telling the outside world, ”I’m some kind of ethnic– caucasian its called, but my turb is definitely Lanvin!” Happy pinning. I mean shopping.
Images courtesy of ManRepeller & Style.Lifegoesstrong.com.