Do You Mind Shaving Your Head in the Next Life?
by The Window Shopper
“I wish my hair was thicker, and I wish my feet were prettier. My toes are really ugly. I wish my ears were smaller. And my nose could be smaller too.” Britney Spears
Honestly nothing depresses me more than Britney Spears. Not even retail. I don’t know how everyone just goes on pretending like she’s not some bloated crazy person of Wal Mart with straight buckwheat growing out of her head– but I just can’t. Every time I look at her I want to cry. Okay every time I look at her I do cry. And like at least Bridget Bardot has the cruel hands of time to blame- Brit only has herself. And trans fat.
It’s just that ever since the epic balding of ’06 I’ve been patient. Lighting candles to Aphrodite every night. Rationalizing that if Magic could buy life, Brit could one day buy hers back. And her face. And her hair. But no. My waiting has been in vain and it’s time to say goodbye. Forever. She’s never coming back. The only good news is that now we know at any point, any one of us with the right drug combo can go from this: